first vlog

welcome to my first vlog, i wont always do this but i thought every now and then to make it different i will do a vlog.. :) enjoy

My birthday :)

well yesterday the 9th of May was my birthday, i turned 38 :) some may think that is getting old, and you may be right,  but just because ypou are 8 doesnt mean you can pick on me, to the rest of the world 38 isnt too bad. I had a great day. My gifts were all thoughtful and loving, i was loving it. The evening before, kahlyssa called in and brought me flowers, :) nawww shes a sweety. Then she was at home bright and early to wish me a happy birthday and give me a present. My first gifts were make up and toiletries, which i love :) and also a red capsicum  lol when kahlyssa was litle we used to jokingly wrap up food items, namesly garlic, onions, apples as gifts for a funny, so every year thats what we have usually done, so this years she sneakily added the capsicum which ironically i was thinking i better get some of this week for my recipes. 

Then i had a shower and when i came out there was some sticky notes... telling me to look in all these different places, a treasure hunt if you will, woohoo i love trasure hunts... these led me to my wardrobe and i was told i had to find it, damn i knew i should have cleaned my wardrobe earlier, I found a large gift bag which was unusual  and seemed like it had a brick wrapped up in it lol, it was in fact what i have been wanting for over a year .... a salt lamp for beside my bed :)

It even has a dimmer switch for romantic nights, or just so i dont have a blinding glow beside the bed at night,   this first pic of my lamp wasnt the first pic i took, the one below it is, and i retook the pic for reasons you will see if you peek through the mirror , lol 

Dakotah lovingly gave me her card she made , gotta love my kids, she wrote, " To mum happy birthday we love you soooo muchforever and when the boys say they hate you they dont"  nawww such sweet things she says 

The next three pics are off the gorgeous Indian jewels that Damian bought me, he knows i have a massive sweet spot for bridal jewellery  from india... im guessing once he decides to marry me i might not be so enamoured with it lol, a universal hint most likely. and he also gave me vouchers galore so i bought a beautiful book chest to store my jewells in , that i will be decorating myself . 

  i cannot wait for a chance to wear them, i actually wore the black one  to lunch i had with mum yesterday. 
 It was late afternnon that i realised that i didnt even have a cake or some dark chocolate, i mean gee come on , i might be on 12wbt but i still love to cut cake and give it to others ,  then kahlyssa showed up  and had a naughty mud calke and some lindt dark chocolate in mint intense, woohooo, i promise i didnt eat any cake....last night anyway and i only had a little of the choc.... then maybe a little more. ugh there goes treat meal saturday. 

do you remember the white top i was sewing  a few blogs back? well i wore it briefly yesterday too, testing it out with my fave black corset i must say i was a happy chappy

so all in all i had a lovely day and got some amazing gifts, my mummy gave me some awesome wash and soaps in my fave scent of tabu,  and also some very cute leopard print cups for my yummy hot aktivite, and a sweet little  speaker for my phone  i was very happy indeedy do di day.

the below pic is of my little guy, him and his brother often hijack my phone , and you dont want to imagine the pics i have found on my phone.... note to self do not let the boys borrow my phone when they are adults 

 so thanks for reading and sharing  my birthday with me, i thouroughly enjoyed unwrapping my number 7 meheheheh, oh and mum loved her heart rate monitor for early mothers day..  i will blog her first test on saturday :)

Mothers day

I got my mum a fitbit for mothers day, her Hrm i ordered was not available yet so i got her the fitbit zip to tide her over till the HRM arrives. I myself am wishing for fitbit one but realise its too expensive so i will get it another time, well i got home and hid her gift, then i got too excited and later said , ok do you want it early? She of course said yes, damn her for not resisting and telling me to wait lol. We set it up and signed her in online , synced her fitbit zip and away we went, i later dropped mum off home and went about my daily chores. Later that evening mum messaged me saying she couldnt log in to fitbit online. I shall come to the rescue, i logged in and then got her to try again. I then asked her" so mum did you have a sleep today? " yes she tells me so i then said" at about 1pm?" By now i know mum would be looking around thinking what the shit? She gingerly said yes and i proceeded to tell her of the times she sat down. It was hilarious as she was messaging me wondering how i knew so i explained the graph i was looking at and then told her that while shes getting ne to check it , i didnt want to see and spikes in her activity at bed time or i will vomit lol each day i know mums making an effort with activity and thats awesome. Im so glad i got it now and cant wait to use mine to compete with her :)

Am i miss behaving ?

hi guys, this is the first day of the "free"week between round one and two of 12wbt, we were given an ebook with a weeks recipes , and exercise to keep us going till the 13th of May when round 2 starts. I have decided to try my own food for a few days at least, only due to low finances lol,  but i hate weeks like that as i know it really is very easy for me to gain weight again. i am going to do my best to not end up with a gain  at round 2 beginning. I will be royally pissed off with myself if i do and as usual i watched Mish's self sabotage video and then managed to sabotage anyway , tsk tsk tsk no wonder i had a gain. As my hormones start to level out a bit i am hoping to make up for the gain, and praying i don't have another gain. I have a day of clogging this Saturday and literally its all day clogging , i will be wearing my heart rate monitor to keep you all informed of my burn for the day. I told mum i had better take my walking stick with me just in case my vertigo tries to ruin my day. I will then have it to dance with to keep me balanced. 

So this week i have also been a busy little bee rearranging my office/paint/sewing area, i rewrote my affirmations on some little clouds and stuck them all around my desk, i printed out  pics of my family and stuck them around too , it now makes me feel really good to be in here, Its amazing what a good clean out will do... that reminds me , i might enquire about colonic cleansing. 

I will go now and have some feet up time before tackling even more cleaning, I'm rather excited as its my birthday on the 9th of May, i don't usually get too excited about things like that but this year i am, as i am getting myself a few new key pieces of clothing to revamp my wardrobe. yipeee. 

oh and i will be 38... oh boy I'm getting old. i have decided to not keep colouring my hair as much, i want to see what condition my natural hair colour is, , I will them probably hate all the greys and colour it later lol, but i thought i would try natural with a few highlights to blend the grey... we will see what happens. 

I must go and email support again as i am still not getting any emails  from Mish :( that makes me sad faced . Hope you have a great week and i will give you my weigh in stats on Wednesday. oh boy we all know that will be a gain again... whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Dear old pre 12wbt Gayle

Hi, its me , the future you , the one who decided that enough was enough and she needed to join 12wbt.
How are you ? , well i dont know why i am asking that really because i actually know, i saw a photo of you today, well i saw a few photos of you , You were not really smiling in any of them, you look miserable, you look lonely and like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, it is going  to be ok,  I promise i have got your back. I am not going to let you down any more. 
I see your eyes in your photo and you look lost, you have so many worries inside you and i know they are real in your mind. You worry about your kids, and what will happen if you die, no wait, i remember you saying , "when "you die cause you didnt believe someone with your problems could live for very long. A little dramatic i think but with the way you were living , i am understanding of why you would think that. 
You are not going to die, at least not by neglect  any more, i know you will find your inner strength, i know you will find something deep inside you that will make you a fighter and want to be like those women you see getting stronger. I can hear you now wishing for a miracle , but you need to make that miracle happen, you need to do the hard yards yourself, you will not be alone, i will be there with you , im the one you hear deep inside you , cheering you on and reminding you every day that there are reasons you need to keep doing this. 
I am  the one who loves you more than you realise, its just that life tried to pull you down and you forgot. 
i will hold your hand through this, and we will walk through the finish line together , and we will spend the rest of our lives getting stronger and living, yup i said it , Living. Hang in there, I will bewaiting :) xxoo your future self 

Final weigh in for round 1

Im such an idiot, i knew i was sabotaging my final weigh in but this little voice kept saying " oh you will be fine don't worry" wrong wrong wrong ..... I am now majorly disappointed in myself as i gained 300 grans, making my final weigh in 93.1. Wtf was i thinking , i will do an updated before and after and post it later. Im going to have to work harder this round, i dont like this guilt feeling of letting myself down. I have lost a total of 45.5 cm's  in body size so i should be proud but its not registering at all . I still see a fatty boombah and have a long way to go. Maybe by the end of next round i will be happier with results. I will post pics this afternoon but for now i will save this as a draft and see how i go later, might even do a vlog. ok so its a couple of days later  and im finished my  final fitness test and measurements i am going to type them up here for you to see . and i retook that before and after pic i did a couple weeks ago  so i am going to post that too.

my week 1 stats were          week 12
chest 120cm                       111cm
waist  107cm                      92.5cm
hips 130cm                         116cm
l thigh 70cm                         66cm
r thigh 69cm                        67cm
l arm 34cm                         34cm
r arm 36cm                         34cm

my time trial went from 10.20 to do 1km   to 5 mins 40  :) but holy crap i need to learn how to breathe during my running, it felt terrible and  i know that i would have been able to up my pace if  i knew how to control my breathing better. 

so here is my pic, not that different  from week ten  but its an official 12 week body transformation before and after. 

 so my wee ones, i must go and rearrange some furniture now, i will figure out the vlog thing when the kids are at school on monday ,   i hope you all stay tuned doe round 2 :)

i have changed the way i allow comments,

Hello my wonderful readers. i have had to change the way that i allow comments, meaning that they will have to go through moderation first, as it seems my Ex, who might i add has a DVO current and is  not allowed to harass me , has magically found my blog. I say, too bad so sad that he doesnt like reading about my journey. I  will not hide myself away because of a man who keeps threatening me with pictures and links etc, what i did as a single woman  or even as his partner doesnt shame me, i know how good he is with his little photoshop and computer games so  i am no longer goin gto worry about his drunken attenmpts to sabotage my life and happiness. I have found happiness and  am very proud of my journey with 12wbt, and with that journey has come my strength to put a stop to games being played at my expense. I just had a rather rude comment on my blog so for your enjoyment i will only allow comments i have seen and can moderate. 99 percent of you comment wonderful encouraging things so i thank you for that. :) have a wonderful night. big hugs ,