Firstly i will add that i set up my polar ft60 heart rate monitor today and thought i would jump on my bike and test it out. OK i will admit to being an anxious person so oddly enough my anxiety was peaking a little while wearing the transmitter, not that i was worried about my pathetic heart rate jumps due to low fitness levels, but due to the fact my worry wort brain was asking how the hell the transmitter was getting these readings, did i have a current passing through me? was this safe? what if it makes me have a heart attack? omg, i think i can feel it buzzing, is it buzzing?
yes this is the conversation my head tried to have before my Gayle brain said for goodness sake you silly bitch shut up, these are worn by millions of athletes and no one has a death certificate stating " had heart attack because of transmitter reading"
OK i calmed myself down and set to work getting on my bike and having a peddle, just to see what it did and rather quickly my heart rate climbed , OK so far so good, its working at least and by the looks of the little heart blip I'm still alive, so i cycle the way i usually cycle, every so often checking my HR and calories burned, wtf????
I had been at it for what seemed like ages and hardly burned any calories. Peddle harder woman for Pete's sake. so i put a little more pedal action into it, knees hitting stomach, ,stomach hitting breasts, breasts hitting chin. that kind of thing, i was wondering where the farting sounds were coming from before discovering it was just my folds giving a little squeak of protest as they rubbed against each other.
I rode for a few more km and decided i had tested my HRM good enough on the bike, it sit down time.
I got myself set up in front of a movie, and had some rice cakes , yay for edible cardboard.
Then i saw Damian walk in and looked all geared up to get the front yard preened.
Hmmm i remember last time i mowed the back yard i had burned a fair few calories , or so my fitness pal app told me so i got curious, lets see just how many calories mowing burns.
I told Damo about my experiment, meaning all he had to do was whipper snip the edges and start the mower. Trust me that mower is a real bitch to start sometimes , and due to calcification of my shoulders its not easy for me to get a pull motion happening(*giggle) without screaming in agony. there , that's my excuse.
Anyway, having heard that i was going ot do the mowing, Damian immediately raced off , clicking his heels together as he went, later emerging with a cold beer to watch my experiment.
Look at me go, it brought back memories of when i used to push Kahlyssa everywhere in her pram, that's quite a workout in itself.
This was when i got to thinking about activities that would burn calories, considering my riding then mowing AND raking burned a measly 277 calories. really??? that all? yup. then i wondered what would happen if i wore the FT60 during different activities and saw what they burned.. i will do this very soon and compile a list blog of my ventures. Just because i can :)
Firstly i was noticing that just standing still was still burning calories, buuut I'm thinking it might take me a heck of a long time to burn sufficient calories for weight loss, but what about these activities?
Can i add them to my daily workouts at all or is it really cheating?
1. Having a shower, you see usually when i shower i have a tub of gumption in with me and scrubbing the bath out, then i do the usual body cleaning, (not with the gumption). and shampooing my hair, i would think that my leg shaving efforts would count, I'm glad no one has ever seen me with my leg up on the side of the bath , trying my best with balance, dropping the soap repeatedly, then getting the shaving done.
Next the bikini line, this involves a whole other kind of workout, trying to get around the tummy, and making sure not to cut anything off that's not hair.This is without fail going to somehow lure the kids to knock on the door and ask to come in.. ummm no you cannot sorry.
2. Getting dressed. holy crap it's a workout trying to put clothes on a larger body while the humidity in the bathroom is very high, i swear to you i dry myself thoroughly but as soon as i pick up my bra and clip the beast up, spin it to the front and heave my chesticles in , (tucking in the side bits) i have started to get a fine sheen of sweat. Then comes the underpants. I hate this bit. They always start in my hands looking the way underpants should look, theres the top hole for the body and the two leg holes for the legs, no brainer there, so what in the hell happens to them from ankle to thigh?
By the time i have hula hooped my undies up to my ass they stop abruptly, where the heck did they go?
There is almost nothing left and i know i didn't pick up a g-string. Ah found them!!rolled up aren't they and nestled under my ass cheeks and tummy, this will take some digging round. I get my fingers into the rolled mess and try my best to find where the top elastic has gone, grabbing it firmly and pulling it up to where they are supposed to be, again with more hula hooping. So that's under garments on. I'm thinking at least 50 calories gone right there. I'm buggered, its stop for a breath time.
Thank God I'm not wearing stockings. Those things are at least a 100 cal workout to get on. No matter now dry my legs are, how careful i slide them up to my thighs, they also stop abruptly, seemingly running out of the stocking to actually get up to my ass and waist. This will take some engineering . I have about 30cm of stocking i need and i have a feeling my crotch piece is not going to go anywhere near my crotch.
Fingers into the legs again, grabbing firmly but gently as we don't want holes in them and have to go through all this shit again. I ease them up again and they rise a little higher , yesss almost got it , only 15 cm more and i will have the waist band up to my hips. The movements for this are similar to the hula hooping for the undies but much more vigorous and your hands are moving from front to back easing the elastic up. Almost like you are trying to create your own orbit. Usually with me, i will just get them up, be sweating like crazy and out of breath , somehow managed to get the waistband almost up to my armpits then it just rolls itself down to nestle under my stomach. ugh . now is the perfect time for them to ladder as it has happened many times. When the ladder is pointed out to me , i just smile, there is no way I'm going through that crap again. Next time I'm getting some fake tan dammit.
That was clearly a good workout, i mean if i was doing that to music it could pass as a form of zumba.
The rest of the dressing will go along as normal as i don't wear jeans so there is no laying on beds with wire coat hangers to get the zips up, well not since i was 20.
3. cleaning is classed as a workout, so should hanging washing on a windy day . Wrestling with a clothesline while trying to hang, towels, sheets, blankets, adults clothes as its spinning madly in the breeze, ducking as the washing flies past your head, trying to reach for the pegs if you are not smart and using a peg bag. The bending up and down over and over, these are all easily workout material. I lost count of how many times i had to pick up something i dropped while trying to peg it out like some butter fingered no reflex action sloth. Dragging the vacuum and mops around, washing walls , etc, is all very much a workout, especially when the kids are home and you have to redo something you swear you cleaned only ten minutes before.
4. I think cooking should be classed as a workout, well for me anyway.
All the arm work with the peeling and chopping, then you have the walking back and forwards getting ingredients. The stepping over kids and animals while getting food prepared is a calorie burning challenge. Not to mention the amount of times i go back and forward from the fridge because i didn't quite get enough out the first time. Stirring the pot is a good workout isn't it? i don't remember seeing many fat witches in my fairy tales.
5 I'ts a given that shopping is a good workout especially if you have kids in tow. Most of you know all about the struggles and what seems like endless walking pushing prams and trolleys. I don't need to take prams anymore but usually theres a child that wants to sit in the trolley. This will instantly take the trolley off centre and weighing more than 30 kg extra. A real workout by the end. All those almost bicep curls as you carry in bags and then go through unpacking them to discover that you will need to clean the fridge a bit too, that means more squats and calories burned.
6 This brings me to clothes shopping, this can be added to my number 2 , the same struggles as before but usually in clothes that are way too small and with someone repeatedly trying to get into the shoebox your changing in to ask if it fits well and do i need any help. No! the hell i don't need your help I'm fine here with this coat hanger wedged in my eye and a dress stuck on my boobs cause i cant seem to get them back out of it.... "i.ll take this one thanks"
7 My fave idea of a workout is of course with your other half... no not YOUR other half, that would be totally wrong, with MY other half. I think its underestimated just how many calories are burnt during sex.
The lead up to it is great for a little cardio, the pacing the floor while you wait for them to finish their night routine so you can pounce on them. I wont get into detail as we all know how it works but I'm thinking , the wrestling with bedding, head knocks , twister games, would be burning more calories than a bike ride , assuming your not the one in the lay back and relax position.
I mean this kind of activity regularly has to be brilliant for burning calories. Ifyou did it nightly , for a week , you would clock up at least 7 x 2 minutes, at least 14 minutes of extra cardio a week .
I will be doing these little tests with my HRM on and seeing just how many it really does burn. I shall let you know in a future post, but for now I'm about to add shopping to my workouts completed today and hopefully a little number 7 if I'm lucky ...
