Sunday 9 June 2013

hi my name is Gayle and i'm a first time skipper

I remember as a kid always having a skipping rope round me, it as one of the fave things to do in the early 80,s, that and use a pen to rewind a cassette.  i have not skipped using a rope since i was probably 8, i don't ever remember saying to my mates at high school, "I'm bored , lets go skipping" by high school i was more interested in skating and that crazy new thing where you can buy blank cassettes and record your fave songs on the radio if no one made any noise at all, so yes i did have  quite a few songs on tape with a random, cough sneeze and fart on it. You know how this round of 12wbt I'm trying intermediate, my way of pushing myself past any barriers, i mean , the past 4 weeks have been pretty good, not so challenging, maybe i have gotten so fit now that intermediate is going to be nice and breezy too..... silly silly me, * shakes head. 

I would like to double check that my mother knows CPR and that i have life insurance cause bloody hell. I am seeing a little of why peeps doing the advanced programs are at their goal weights or close to it. I say i see a little of it because i know this is just the beginning, i remember when Mish stepped up the last 4 weeks of round 1 , I'm starting to crap myself here,. I'm going to give you a walk through of today's workout.  You might want to go and grab yourself a cuppa before you read, you will need it. In fact , if i can get off this chair in a second i too will go and make myself a drink. i will be back in just a moment. i hope. 

OK I'm back, a nice hot cup of Aktivite,  so today's workout, ugh well i went to bed a little too early last night then had to get back up again for a nocturnal wizz because i slept too early, then later was awoken by hip pain, that's when i knew it had been raining. my poor ole arthritic body is really feeling the pinch of winter. So my night of fitful sleep didn't help me at all with today's workout. Here's how my mondayitis torture went.

we have to warm up by doing fast low steps, alternating legs every 30 seconds, OK , done this a heap of times so all good here. or so i thought, i didn't count on the rain last night making my step a little slippery or that my left leg suddenly would lift that cm higher to clear the tiny step, so i stumbled a little, not very gracefully either, but i got back on the horse and kept going, then was the medieval whipping torture, or should i say skipping. 
Its like riding a bike, you never forget, but apparently i have become a little more violent with my rope swing and have now learnt that i need to be more gentle when i swing it over my head , i was more concerned with the rope clearing my feet and me actually physically being able to jump over it with both feet like grown ups do and not in that one at a time skipping i did as a kid :) 
I was starting to get the feeling i was in a convict movie and constantly getting lashings cause i didn't think skipping was meant to sting like hell, this was my first clue that I'm a violent skipper, or i just done know my own strength, the first sting of the rope across my triceps should have taught me a lesson before the second sting in the same place cause a little bit of an expletive reaction and some rubbing , much to my mothers amusement as shes feather lightly skipping away .

if you look carefully you will see a couple of horizontal red lines across my arm. 

I continued on, i still had 3 minutes of skipping to do , now I'm telling you if this had been  tralalala skipping  then i would have merrily been able to do that but this bloody rope thing  its a whole new ballgame. 
So into minute 2 and three i have accumulated two more whips , one across each ankle, the front of my ankle to be exact because my brain said  jump and my feet said "wha??"  too late, whack. Mum by this time is thinking this is hilarious. oh yeah its bloody funny alright, so now i can truly feel that i have an arm and two ankles by the stinging sensations that has not subsided yet. 
 The final minute became my undoing , i was doing really well with technique and with  my pace so i was confident i could do make it to the end of my 4th minute unscathed. pffft yer OK Gayle. i must have distracted myself with my inner head dialogue congratulating myself  on being able to skip at all, i remember in round one there was no way i could do it, not even one skip, in fact if you remember back then i could not jump at all so this was an amazing achievement to me. It was during this dialogue i felt my first of two ass whippings... how the hell did i whip under my ass cheek, well however i managed it , i did it twice, one on both sides. Mum had to have a pee stop in the middle of all this, probably due to her laughing at me beating myself up. I  pulled my shorts down a little and said "are their marks" to which she looked and laughed again.. Gleefully taking a pic to show me, I am sharing this pic with you today  probably just to horrify you that you will see part of my ass-cheek, and i say  part because that's a bloody big ass cheek lol
you can make out the red line across my thigh towards the crease, that's if you can stop staring at the giant freckle long enough to see it lol
this was the end of my 4 minutes skipping, but i did say, that's going to be easier with practise and i dare say it will. I'm not one to give up that easily. 

The skipping had really taken it out of me, anything to do with bouncing usually wears me out fast, that's a lot of booty to get off the floor still so I'm  trying my best. 

The rest of the workout read like a torture test. if we survived this test we were allowed to stay on the island. 
this is the order we did things, 10 Turkish get ups, i wont explain how these things are done in case its a copyright thing, i don't want to get into trouble, so i will use a basic term for them,  lets just say this exercise involves being on the floor then not being on the floor all with only one arm. oh boy, that's something i never want to watch my mother do again.... but i know it will happen . *shivers.

then it was 20 squats on one leg, yessssss one leg, what in the name of all that is holy, i had to watch the video for that before i assumed i had to tie one of my mothers legs up to her ass. Luckily i did check as i would have been wrong but it would have been very funny, like putting sticky tape on a cats paw.. if one was incline to try that for a giggle.. not me as I'm a good girl and such. i just heard about it once.  so we managed the squats fine and I'm thinking this is not going to be easy today as i know what is left to do yet and already I'm feeling a little sick in the tum, such a sook i am. 

30 push ups (clapping)  this was OK,  we have done it many times, then 40 crunches, my neck hates these, they always make me feel alot of burning across my neck but we got through them. It took me a while to get back up though. Me getting up from floor to standing resembles a baby elephant trying to do the same, no coordination and a hefty middle to shift.

next  was 50 of an exercise that makes me look like im one armed rowing .  this also wasnt as bad as i imagined when i saw what i was to do. then  the trouble came and lots of wtf is she kidding came out too lol, like a pair of whiny kids, oh we had full intentions of getting them done but it made us feel better to have a little whinge about it too, if we look too keen Mish might up the reps on us. assuming she knows what we are complaining about cause there seems to always be more the next time. 

Next was time for mum and i to lunge walk our way around the house looking rather odd, please don't let anyone turn up right now while we are doing this. we had to do this 60 times, feel the burn is not a word i would use to describe the way my thighs seemed to swell to the point i couldn't actually walk any more.
so how did she top this off, with 70 burpees, *faints. we strategically worked our way through them, lots of puffing and panting,  to then start on the 80 squats, nooooooooo already my ass cheeks and thighs were giving up , yet surprisingly it wasn't as hard to get through as i thought. My body really is screaming at me though, i have done so many reps today on each muscle that my heart really felt like it was working way harder that my heart rate monitor said it did. my 130 beats a minute felt like 180. 
90 tricep dips and a lot of crying and begging for it to end followed, well in my head i cried and threw myself on the floor banging my fists and screaming " you cant make me do this"

bring on the 100 basketball jumps, each one i made sure both my feet left the floor, i noticed mums were not doing that, hmmmm no wonder when we finished then she was dancing around the kitchen while i was gasping for air and checking if i was about to keel over. 
various crunches followed ,  and i braved my way through them despite the burning in my neck. gleefully welcomed the stretched and realised, we are not in Kansas anymore Toto. it is only going to get harder from here, can i handle the new pace, will i be able to make it through the round as intermediate? i bloody well hope so cause I'm going to give it a damn good try..Even though i have not shifting huge numbers all along, i have tried to lose a little consistently, yes i could be alot better with food and sometimes i am sometimes I'm not perfect , so i know where its at. I am losing cm.s and that's a good thing, it will take me at least another 10 kg for my cms to make a big difference to my shape. I took another progress shot this morning, it has made me decide to try alot harder in my food so that i can  achieve better results. I need to order alot more number 7's this will help. 

Time for me to go and get more sewing done .. see you in Wednesday for my weigh in.... thanks to my stupid hormones I'm 2 weeks late again for a period) this always happens and no not preggers lol) so this weigh in could be my gain week, its been a while since its happened so I'm hoping it doesn't but I'm also expecting it too. 

yes the dress is a little shorter to see if my legs are changing, they are slowly , not in cms dramatically but firming up,  Damn my inner thighs, how i hate them.