I know this is what i need, and trust me as i am sweating and hurting my head is yelling at me " if you didn't do this to your self you wouldn't be having to work so damned hard, oh now look at you all red and puffy, whatchu gunna do? you gunna cry , huh you gunna cry?"
I roll my eyes and try to ignore the hateful taunts inside my head, after i mentally flip her a bird. Then i continue with my routine. We are not in Kansas anymore Toto.
Today was hard to do. My body was already screaming at me , begging me to stop. i was not stopping. my vertigo kept trying to throw me off my step as i was doing step ups but i kept at it. Even as i type now i feel like I'm sitting on a boat and trying to type as the waves gently undulate my laptop in front of me.
i hate this part. i absolutely hate you vertigo!!!!!
Today's workout almost broke me. I remember telling mum " i would be crying right now if i wasn't so exhausted." I didnt want to keep going, Did i want to keep going?
There is a lot of soul searching when you are trying to change so many things about your life. weight loss isn't just about losing kg's. It's a whole person change. mind body and soul. You go through so many emotions, excited, fear, disappointment, envy, regret, pain, depression, anxiety, and many more. You Grieve things you used to do or have ( junk foods, not exercising not having to think about everything you eat and do)
then you have to train your brain to think that you want this new life forever that you wont go back to the old habits. sometimes when you feel so tired you just want to not move all day. "leave me alone , i shall lay here till cobwebs form, you shall feed me later if you like"
i think its so much better to have my mum here exercising with me, not complaining at all, she just reads what we have to do and gives it her best. I guess she thinks I'm whining enough for two of us lol
oh and by the way, somehow we actually did Thursdays workout on Tuesday so we will do Tuesdays workout on Thursday . I don't know how we managed that, i blame the man in the next block who was mowing.
below i will add pics of todays efforts. there are some exercises that i have do modify for now due to me needing to build some strength to get them done . mum and i do some of the bench exercises against my table instead, it takes the impact down more so i don't strain my back. as i get stronger i will try these properly but judging by the way they feel they are still doing good for me.
This pic is our mountain climbers, i have to do it this way till I'm stronger.
Mum and i doing skaters, this usually results in some giggles
modified burpees for now, we have to step them out .
the very end.... mum was doing her hip stretchers and yet again, tinkerbell decided her hips needed flexing too
So i fought another dragoon today and won. tomorrow i shall slay another.
