What??????? me sing , on a stage, in front of people , after all these years you have to be bloody kidding..!!!!!!! so i said yes. wtf was i thinking.
My vertigo can be awakened heavily by nerves so you should have seen me , as someone with anxiety i deal with feeling nervous quite often but today it was on high alert. i didn't think i could even lift my arms to hold the mikes lol i just kept thinking about how much mum deserved me to do a good job, I was not doing it expecting to get a placing, and we don't find that out till tomorrow, i just wanted to beat my nerves, wanted to have the chance to perform again , I loved performing for so long.
When we got to the venue i was feeling really nervy and wobbly but kept my thoughts as busy as i could, mainly on hoping others thought i looked as cute as i believed i did in my new dress lol
we had to stay behind the stage and listen to all the other singers first, i hate that bit. my nerves tried so hard to take over that my arms felt seriously heavy. i said to mum that i probably wouldn't be able to hold a mike up so we asked them to leave them in the stands. probably lose points for that but i was not there for that reason. I leant over to mum and said, " If i get so nervous that i pass out or faint, can you really quickly cover my ass"? she laughed so hard. but i was bloody serious lol, i wouldn't have control over how i land so i just wanted to take care of my dignity .:)
Then i said oh and i have two pairs of undies on in case i crap a pair so if i do, just sneak them off and toss them under the stage while no ones looking.
The laughing calmed a few nerves but as soon as they called us up i couldn't really hear anything. my head was going off into space somewhere, i was trying to stop my knees locking and keep that professional air about me.. probably losing that air as much as i was losing gas :) just glad the band was loud.
I have never sung with a band before so it was a real double test. i said to mum, " no pressure but if you mess up , we are effed lol" I was harmonising mum so it was pretty much up to her to keep me on track. We are pretty notorious for the odd slip up that always entertains the audience ... in a good way ... but doing it right mattered this time.
I'm not even sure that i could see any of the people in the audience at all and i just know the other contestants were picking the shit out of our performance lol, cause we kind of did the same listening to them. just a little bit... and nothing disrespectful... nothing Simon Cowell like.
Then mid instrumental mum does a dance thing.... wtf... i gotta dance.... shit.... in this dress, damn .. so i did my best little hot shoe shuffle thinking that mum better remember my ass covering if i drop.
We got through the song and mum instinctively grabbed my hand as we walked off stage as she knew i would need the walking support .. and i did.
I was so proud of her this competition as she has wanted to do it for 12 years and she finally did. Just like i dragged her into my morning workouts , mum dragged me to the comp. The good thing is i am now a member of the club so will be practising singing every week with mum and the band, and Damian might even like playing his guitar sometimes for us too :)
So i have been exercising... i didn't think i ever would again.
I have been clogging.... didn't think that would ever be possible again
I sang on stage in front of a huge crowd in a comp...... what was in those brownies>????/ ( disclaimer, no brownies were consumed at all and certainly not any "funny" ones)
This is looking to be a very powerful year for me, lets see just how much more i can achieve.
Whats next? pole dancing....... rock climbing.... wearing matching underwear??? who knows but I'm going to do it any way
a pic for you all to gander at... this is me Post singing , very nervous still and waiting for my ride home... amusing mum with my " model" poses
