those three minutes you have to wait for the answer, didnt need to be waited, as within moments i could clearly see the two lines that would throw me in a spin. To say i was shocked was an understatement, yes i cried..... alot. How on earth was this happeneing.. well , i know how it hapens, when a mummy and a daddy love each other etc. I was not supposed to be ovulating according to my doctor so a baby was a surprise that i warmed to quickly. i did however mourn for my hard work and weight loss. nooooo!!!! I know i will put it all back on.
Scans put my due date at June 2nd 2014.. Let the games begin, so many things were going through my emotions list. Excitement, embarrassment, fear, just to name a few. embarrassment that i was an "older" mum. i felt old too, morning sickness ended my training rather too quickly, fatigue meant i was not likely to be resuming heavy exercise any time soon. To be honest i was so knackered and achey i had a hard enough time getting through my daily household work let alone donning ass chaffing spandex and lapping the neighbourhood. my pregnancy progressed fast , or it seemed like that. the weight issue caused me great stress, no matter how i tried i managed to pile on all my lost weight. i couldnt look at myself oin the mirror towards the end without feeling defeated. I remember one of my antinatal visits the midwife was rather rude, one , about the fact this was baby 6, asking me why i didnt have my tubes tied already and lecturing me on the fact that i missed an appointment to have an IUD inserted years ago. i looked her square in her orbital pits and told her that i should not have been given an appointment as i had told my GP that i was not interested in any of their fake hormones as i had enough trouble with them due to my thyroid. Secondly she informed me that i should watch my diet, if my BMI got over 50 i would need to birth in Brisbane. well slap me down with a soggy fish, i was nowhere near that BMI and had no intentions of getting there either the callous woman
Yes i went home and cried, i did that often , bloody pregnancy hormones. I later found out that i had Gestation Diabetes and had to watch my diet closely and take tablets. In the end, i was put on insulin injections. this was horrible for me as i am seriously not ever a person that can inject themselves. i cried for 30 minutes trying to get the nerve to do it the first time. My biggest hurdle came when i was heading for my last 4 weeks, On April 27th 2014, i woke just on 6 for my 5th toilet trip for that night and got back into bed after. It was then i felt my headache start, from the back of my neck up and around my head, so fast and painful, my neck hurt to look down and the lights were so frustrating and irritated me. somthing was not right. i took some panadol and it did nothing, i told Damian to get me ot the hospital fast or i was calling an ambulance as something was not right.
I got into the hospital and was seen really quickly , cat scans were done twice, and a lumbar puncture. they suspected a brain bleed. the results showed i had blood in my spinal fluid so i was flown to the nearest big city 5 hours drive away . i was terrified, alone ( my mum was on holidays too and couldnt get to me). They rushed to get my kids to the hospital so i could say goodbye to them. I held them so so tight. was this the last time i was going to see them? i held them all so tight told them all how much a adored them, gave instructions to my oldest if the worst was to happen. we all held each other and cried while waiting for the ambulance to come take me to the airport.
It was the scariest flight i have been on, they were taking me away from my family and to a hospital so far away and my mum had no way of getting to me for at least 4 days. This made me feel even lonlier. Damian made sure that i knew i was going to see them the next day as he was driving all 5 of my kids to Brisbane to be close to me.
Once in the ICU in the hospital i was cared for exceptionally well, mind you the drugs they give you are still potent enough to have me out of it. Because of the pregnancy there were tests they couldnt do and it only left me with an MRI. Oh my goodness those things are terrifying , i could feel my tummy touching the top of the tunnel and my arms touching the sides, i had to use all the powers of my meditation to not start screaming"Let me out of here".
They were happy witht he results at this stage but concerned about the delivery and didnt want me going through a normal labour as i had with my other children as any raising of my blood pressure would be possibly dangerous.
I was allowed to come back to my town for 10 days to allow my baby to grow more and was asked to go back at 37 and a half weeks gestation so they could induce me and deliver my baby with Forceps as they didnt want me pushing and i was to be given an epidural. the delivery i could write a whole post on but i wont bore you with that. it was 20 hours long and they were so very reassurring and helpful .
My new baby girl was born on May 15th at 37 and a half weeks, weighting 8 pound 1 ounces her name is Lilianah may and shes a delight.